So, there I was snoozing in bed and minding my own business this morning when I hear this almighty crash like someone (Adam) dropped an armload of dishes into the sink. Since Adam does occasionally make loud noises for no apparent reason, I didn't think much of it, however I decided to be conscientious and yell, "ARE YOU OKAY?!!"
Several seconds passed without a reply. Then Adam yells: "JEN?!"
Me: "WHAT DO YOU WANT?!"
Adam: "JUST C'MERE!!"
So I got out of bed and put some clothes on and walked out into the living room, where I find: No Adam. He's still yelling, however.
"C'MERE FOR A SECOND!"
ME: "WHERE'S 'HERE'? WHAT DO YOU WANT?!"
Adam: "PUT ON SOME SHOES AND C'MERE!!"
Sighing, I go put on some shoes and return to the living room. "WHAT DO YOU WANT?" (Please note that this is the FOURTH TIME I have asked him to tell me what the hell is going on.)
Adam: "AND GET SOME SHOES FOR ME, TOO!!"
So I go *back* in the other room and get some shoes for him, too, and go into the kitchen to see what he wants. There, I find that a.) the door to the garage is open, b.) there is broken glass all over the place, and c.) a rather sheepish-looking Adam is standing out in the garage trying to figure out how to get back inside the house without seriously injuring himself.
Me: "What the hell?"
Some fifteen minutes later, AFTER I've given Adam the shoes and cleaned up his various cuts and scrapes AND picked up all the broken glass, he finally explains what happened. He went out to his car to get his laptop and when he tried to come back inside he missed the step or otherwise stumbled and PUT HIS ARM THROUGH THE GLASS DOOR. Amazingly, he escaped with only two small scratches and an almighty bruise on his elbow where he banged it on the door frame.
Then, THEN he has the gall to give me a hard time because I didn't come running when I heard the crash. "For all you knew," he said, "I was out there bleeding to death!"
Now I ask you, how was I supposed to know what happened? If he'd just said "I'm hurt!" or "I broke something!" when I asked him what was going on, I'd have been right there. But no, he answers my requests for information with "PUT SOME SHOES ON!!"
Next time I'm leaving him out there.
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