“Barkley, why is there a huge pile of
dirt in front of my church?” Maelin Shreed asked. When Barkley
looked baffled, the priest pointed helpfully.
“Er, adventurers, yer honor.”
“I'm fairly certain it's a pile of
dirt, Barkley, not adventurers. Adventurers tend to be pointier.”
“No, I means the adventurers MADE the
pile o' dirt, yer honor.”
“And then they couldn't be bothered
to clear it away? How rude!”
“Well, yer honor, they was protecting
the church, I think . . .”
With a loud jangle of strings, Nevis
the bard appeared in front of the irritated priest. “I'LL explain
it!”
“Please do!”
WHANG! The strings resounded. “The
rain fell down from the sky! The water arose from the lake! The
village was doomed to be drowned! And then there was a big snake!”
“A . . . snake?”
It was too late. Nothing could
interrupt now. “The snake had swallowed a child! All was darkness
and dread! But then the Foss-man appeared! He whacked the snake on
the head!”
“Er . . . good?”
“The snake it was now deceased! But
the bad guys weren't ready to quit! From out of the lake came a
monster! A worm with the arms of a squid!”
“That don't rhyme,” Barkley
observed.
“Yes it does!” WHANG! “The worm
attacked the church! Its fury unlikely to flag, yah! It battered
upon the walls! The worm's name is Black Magga!”
“Black Magga!? From Storval Deep?”
“STOP interrupting. Ahem. I think I
lost my place. Shall I start again?”
“NO!” Both men shouted.
“Well, then, be quiet. Ahem. Where
was I? Oh yes. The wizard hurled a fireball! The worm, it started
to smoke! But still it attacked undeterred! It thought our spells
were a joke!” Nevis eyeballed the men, but they remained silent.
“The worm struck at the Foss-man! His flesh was tattered and torn!
His mighty axes went hacking! A mighty legend was born!”
“So he defeated it? And who is
Fossman? Have we met?”
“I'm NOT FINISHED!!!”
“Oops, er, sorry. Continue.”
“The worm was mightily cleaved! It
turned its tail and fled! The heroes won the day! But sadly the
worm isn't dead!” Nevis ended with a flourish and bowed. The
humans goggled at her. “It's all right, I'm done now, you can
talk.”
“It . . . sounds like quite an
impressive battle? But what about the pile of dirt?”
“Oh, that was the druid,” Nevis
replied dismissively.
“I . . . see.” Maelin did not see,
but he didn't want to ask for further clarification in case Nevis
actually provided it, and it was even worse than the poetry thus far
forthcoming. “So . . . what happens now?”
“Now the heroes are traveling to Hook
Mountain to deal with the ogre menace! Should be exciting!”
“What about Black Magga?”
“Oh, the villagers told us that maybe
some trolls let her through some kind of gate they have up at Storval
Deep? Something like that? Don't worry, we'll take care of that
next. Busy busy! Can't stop, off to save the world!”
“Well, er, thank you?” Maelin said
as the gnome ran off as quickly as she had appeared.
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