Book reviews, art, gaming, Objectivism and thoughts on other topics as they occur.

Feb 4, 2006

The Rantings of a Single Male

I am not a feminist. In fact, the older I get the more I find that I despise feminism, male-bashing, and similar forms of insanity. Nevertheless, I will occasionally complain that men are not up to par, that they don't get it, that they are clueless and don't understand.

Well, I'm clueless and I don't understand, too, but I have been trying to fix this problem. I have one huge advantage: I've always liked men. ALWAYS. I definitely prefer them to women for company. If I start a conversation with a man on a topic, he's always got something to contribute. He'll relate some interesting experience or fact or book that he's read. The only female friends I have are essentially identical to men in this respect. They have serious, rational opinions, they are assertive talkers, and they don't see a conversation as you entertaining them by agreeing with them. I won't go into their other numerous wonderful qualities; I'd be talking for days.

I did go through a period in high school when I was afraid of men, and I'm still recovering from it. Why? I thought they were mocking me. I was fat and unglamorous and not attractive; I still am. The funny thing is, now that I remember it, that the guys never made fun of me for being unattractive. In fact, more than once they went out of their way to be nice to me. A football player in my History class sent me a carnation on Valentine's day. Once or twice someone would come over during lunch and just randomly strike up a conversation. Of course, I reacted like they'd handed me a live and thoroughly poisonous snake. Poor guys.

Other women, now, THEY made fun of me for being fat and unglamorous and unattractive and non-conformist. They were CRUEL. They were determined to put me in my place and punish me for not bowing to whatever "rules" there were about how I should behave. I hated them.

I suppose now I should get over myself and actually review this book by Thomas Ellis, which is really, really interesting. If you are a guy, read this book. Chances are, you need some affirmation that you are not always wrong and horribly screwed up. If you are a girl, read the book, and for the love of life PAY ATTENTION. No this is not some jerk whining. This is real life. Men are horribly abused, scarred, and even destroyed by feminism. It's beyond horrible, too, because they really are wonderful most of the time.

I don't agree with a lot of Ellis' recommendations, but I don't think he devoted a lot of time and thought to them. Mostly the book is about pointing out what's wrong, because, as he said, you can't change women's minds. They have to do it themselves. Ellis thinks, for instance, that it would be a good idea to force women to tell a man when they are pregnant and he's the biological father. I think this is ridiculous.

In fact, I think the idea of "equality" between men and women in some aspects is ridiculous. Men and women are different in some aspects, so how could they possibly be equal in those aspects? As far as I'm concerned, if you get pregnant, it is completely your problem and absolutely your decision what to do about it. If you choose to inform the biological father, it should be an offer to afford him some say in the matter, not a crushing demand and a threat to his independance. As Ellis mentions, women have had control over their reproductive functions for something like 40 years now. It's time for them to accept responsibility for them as well.

Now I'm starting to rant. In any case, I'd just like to apologize to any men I've inflicted unconsidered feminist ideology upon, and especially to that guy in high school for not at least thanking him for the flower. It was cute, and I realize now that you were probably not trying to be mean.

If you were, well, it was still a nice flower.


EdMcGon said...

Good post Jenn.

One thing I would add is that most men don't take feminists seriously. Women they take seriously, but not feminists. Men can't win with feminists, so they eventually learn not to try.

Also, boys in high school are very different from men. As insecure as you felt, high school boys felt every bit the same way. However, when they grow up, most men learn to accept their own flaws or deal with them in some fashion. But they don't dwell on them.

Anonymous said...

"Men don't take feminists seriously"...why should they.